Oklahoma City fails to create excitement in unveiling name, colors

The NBA’s newest franchise is the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Oh, that was supposed to be a secret? Sorry, I’ve already known for a month…as have most of you and most of the media.

There are only a few ways to make a big splash as a franchise in professional sports outside of winning a championship. Moving a team is one of those ways, changing the name and colors are another.

So while every NBA fan already knows the name of the former Seattle SuperSonics franchise, Oklahoma City’s public relations and media staff still feel the need to make it a big spectacle. They just announced a huge downtown rally and unveiling on Sept. 3.

When you unveil something, it is supposed to have been a secret prior to that day. That is what creates the excitement. Even the definition of the word is “to disclose, reveal.” But if the world already knows what you are going to disclose, what is the point?

As if the name choice wasn’t bad enough already.

Look, I am all for getting creative in sports, but I draw the line on two points as far as naming teams goes. (1) Do not name a team after an inanimate object, and (2) Make the team name plural.

The NFL and MLB have figured this out. The NBA, NHL, MLS and (worst of all, not that anyone cares) WNBA got some ‘splainin’ to do.

The worst offenders are the weather group: the Heat, Lightning, Sky, Sun, Storm and now Thunder. Uck. I am sure Kevin Durant is happy to say, “I am delighted to be a Thunder.” “I have wanted to be a Thunder my whole career.” Not.

Then you get into the other oddballs: Magic, Jazz, Wild (though I like the name), Dream, Shock, Fever, Liberty and Mercury.

I just can’t wrap my head around the people making these marketing decisions, especially when starting anew in a different city. And in case you were curious, two of their other options were “Wind” and “Bison.” Who are these decision-makers?

With all of my complaining, I can already hear a few of you saying to yourselves, “Yeah, like he can come up with anything better!” I sure can. Here are two names, off the top of my head, which (1) Make more sense than Thunder, and (2) Follow my rules.

Oklahoma City Barons
Oklahoma City Slickers

Using the second name, in particular, would be fantastic. In addition to the double usage of “City Slickers” and “Slickers” alone, it is catchy, fun and is easy to utilize in marketing campaigns. Naming the restaurants and clubs in the area, creating a mascot, everything becomes easier with a good team name.

With all that being said, I guess it is too late to change it now. After all, there is a secret unveiling on Wednesday!